Update

Just wanted to give everyone an update on the current status of Shadowhawk, because you all care. He got himself plucked. Its a long, convoluted story, but it basically came down to him trying to start a coup with the rest of his eyebrow hair comrades, and he had to be stamped out. He ended up being much longer than I had originally thought, camouflaging himself and only allowing a small portion of himself to be blond. He was pushing an inch long at the time of death. The good news is that I have full control of my right eyebrow again; the bad news is that I have had little to no psychic episodes since the intervention. I take solace in knowing that he will be back, and maybe, just maybe, we can have the mutually beneficial relationship that will allow us to pull off some wicked Jedi mind-tricks.

Lightsabers

Brittney and I recently finished watching all six Star Wars movies in order. One very important question kept popping up in my sub-cranium as we were enjoying the inter-stellar escapades of the Skywalkers and friends: Is there a cooler fictional wepon than the lightsaber?

I mean, come on. Its pure Awesome – in glowy-blade form. And I don’t take its competition lightly. It has some strong competion from the gunblade, the Punjab Lasso (for name alone), and Mega Man’s arm-gun, among others. But you really can’t compete with that cool whirring sound of the switch-blade for the space-monk. And last, but certainly not least, without it we wouldn’t have incredible cinematic moments like these:

edit: Due to 20th Century Fox not wanting me to infringe on the 20 seconds of copywritten video that was posted here, it was taken down. I pretty much expected it, as the only efforts they ever put towards Arrested Development was to keep it off the air. Thanks, Fox, for keeping the internets as free of humor as your networks!

Sweet Rock

I wanted to post this video of Mates of State daughter Magnolia. She’s about to embark on her second tour with the band (the first with her little sister June), and it looks like she’s learned some sweet moves from her experience at various shows. I’m especially impressed with how she transitions the bouncing and rocking at 0:08-0:15 to the smooth groovin’ at 1:07. What a pro.

You can read/watch more about the band/family at their blog babble.com/CS/blogs/bandonthediaperrun

P.S. No, this is not an odd way of announcing we are pregnant, nor implying that we are close to entering that state.

Color

Remember coloring? Its incredible. Stop reading and go color.

The Secret

I have a friend… that has magical powers. This friend is real, and he lives in my eyebrow. My right eyebrow. He is a single white hair in a field of brown, he has psychic powers, and his name is Shadowhawk.

“Psychic powers?” you may ask yourself. Yes, psychic powers that grow ever more powerful as he grows in length and stature. He can read minds, predict the future, and even make certain things happen. I have been having an increasing amout of these kind of psychic events happening in my life – premonitions that came about, knowing exactly what was going to happen before it happened, thinking I want something to happen and it happens, strange coincidences. For a while I thought it was me, my own psychic power increasing, and it kind of freaked me out. But recently I have come to the realization that this was actually Shadowhawk helping me out. He is my assistant, controlling the world around me, taking my thoughts and making them real and taking other peoples thoughts and putting them in my brain. Intense stuff, right?

There are, however, two problems with this recent partnership: 1) Because this relationship is relatively new, I can’t control any of this. I am subject to his magical will and pleasure. 2) Because his power is proportionate to his length it is difficult to manage the psychic-power-to-unsightly-eyebrow-hair ratio. Brittney has been helping me out and has been the one to let me know when he is getting out of control and needs to be eliminated. You would think that because of this he would dislike and fear her because she brings about his elimination, but in fact it is just the opposite. Even though she gives the execution order, he has become quite fond of her (he usually sees it coming anyway), and he likes to share his psychic powers with her when he can.

So this has been the official introduction of Shadowhawk to the world. Now try and not look at him the next time you see me – you won’t be able to avoid it. He’ll probably make you look with his magical powers anyway.